Friday, May 20, 2005
The Daily Suckie - May 20th, 2005
TSD has a lot of enemies in the sportwriting world, but we hold a special place in our heart for Dan Shanoff, ESPN.com author of the Daily Quickie. Not only does this guy represent all that is wrong with the sports media, but he is an annoying, fickle grundle to boot. As such, TSD staff feels the need to highlight his "columns" (I use quotation marks as I do not feel contributions can be classified as real writing) . Since he does a daily feature, The Daily Suckie will be posted every weekday here at TSD.
Today's : http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/quickie
As you may or may not know, after the home teams all won their first game in the 2nd round of the NBA playoffs, Shanoff decided to bestow upon the world his amazing theory: that all four teams would sweep their opponent based on the one game of action. Obviously, you can see why this guy has a job writing for ESPN. This is the type of guy we are dealing with here: a fickle moron with unsubstantiated claims and theories.
It is actually a shame we are starting this today, as we don't have the usual number of preposterous claims and stupid comments that usually permeate Shanoff's material. Despite this, we still have something to work with. In today's Quickie, we have:
Absurd Sensationalism: "Forget Annika at the Colonial in 2003 (or even Wie at the Masters in 2010); Patrick winning the Indy 500 would be the greatest gender-bending moment in sports history."
Sports history? Give me a break. This guy finds one plotline that is remotely interesting (in this case a female race car driver) and he does whatever he can to try to blow it out of proportion. It is amazing that this guy can find the most significant events in a sport's history every single week. Maybe there is something I am missing here. Nah, he is just a sensationalist.
A Lack of Credibility: "WHO'S GOT THE MOMENTUM ... WNBA: New season opens (Pick to click: Chamique in L.A.)"
I am sorry, but the placement of the WNBA in a positive light? I don't think so Shanoff.
A Lack of Sports Common Sense: "Biggest let-down: The Nats will play Toronto, rather than Baltimore. (Bet Angelos wishes he could get that series now ...)" (In honor of my esteemed co-author)
So just because DC now has a team and is the city closest to Baltimore, there should be an instant rivalry during the first week of Interleague play? Let's not mention the fact that Philly-Baltimore has played in rivalry week for a while now (36 games my friends). That would make too much sense, and we can't be having that in a sports column.
Stale Jokes: "NHL: League, union talked for 14 hours yesterday, which is longer than all the talk about hockey from fans since June 2004 ... combined."
OK, we get it. No one cares about the hockey strike. How many times can you overuse one joke?
"schadenfreud"
He has used this word more than I use the word "the" in my everyday life. It is not funny nor clever, so do us a favor and "schaddenup". (Wow I am almost as clever as he is!)
Come back Monday for the next edition of The Daily Suckie, hosted by Adam. Have a good weekend.
Today's : http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/quickie
As you may or may not know, after the home teams all won their first game in the 2nd round of the NBA playoffs, Shanoff decided to bestow upon the world his amazing theory: that all four teams would sweep their opponent based on the one game of action. Obviously, you can see why this guy has a job writing for ESPN. This is the type of guy we are dealing with here: a fickle moron with unsubstantiated claims and theories.
It is actually a shame we are starting this today, as we don't have the usual number of preposterous claims and stupid comments that usually permeate Shanoff's material. Despite this, we still have something to work with. In today's Quickie, we have:
Absurd Sensationalism: "Forget Annika at the Colonial in 2003 (or even Wie at the Masters in 2010); Patrick winning the Indy 500 would be the greatest gender-bending moment in sports history."
Sports history? Give me a break. This guy finds one plotline that is remotely interesting (in this case a female race car driver) and he does whatever he can to try to blow it out of proportion. It is amazing that this guy can find the most significant events in a sport's history every single week. Maybe there is something I am missing here. Nah, he is just a sensationalist.
A Lack of Credibility: "WHO'S GOT THE MOMENTUM ... WNBA: New season opens (Pick to click: Chamique in L.A.)"
I am sorry, but the placement of the WNBA in a positive light? I don't think so Shanoff.
A Lack of Sports Common Sense: "Biggest let-down: The Nats will play Toronto, rather than Baltimore. (Bet Angelos wishes he could get that series now ...)" (In honor of my esteemed co-author)
So just because DC now has a team and is the city closest to Baltimore, there should be an instant rivalry during the first week of Interleague play? Let's not mention the fact that Philly-Baltimore has played in rivalry week for a while now (36 games my friends). That would make too much sense, and we can't be having that in a sports column.
Stale Jokes: "NHL: League, union talked for 14 hours yesterday, which is longer than all the talk about hockey from fans since June 2004 ... combined."
OK, we get it. No one cares about the hockey strike. How many times can you overuse one joke?
"schadenfreud"
He has used this word more than I use the word "the" in my everyday life. It is not funny nor clever, so do us a favor and "schaddenup". (Wow I am almost as clever as he is!)
Come back Monday for the next edition of The Daily Suckie, hosted by Adam. Have a good weekend.
