Friday, May 27, 2005
The Daily Suckie - May 27th, 2005
Aloha friends (this is clever and all because I am Hawaii bound tomorrow)! Welcome to today's version of America's favorite sports column, the Daily Suckie. If you thought that our friend Shanoff would have an off day, think again. This guy is the Energizer Bunny of shit writing. So without further ado, let's get to it! (As always, the Daily Quickie in question can be found on the handy link to the left).
In today's Quickie, we are given the gift of:
Ginormous Overhyping and Sensationalism: "Yet even just a strong showing makes her the top "crossover" athlete of the ESPN Era, in any sport." Wow. Just wow. The greatest crossover athlete of any sport just by a decent showing? It really doesn't take a whole lot to win you over. If you are talking about women athletes in men's sports, then you mentioned a much more remarkable feat in the previous sentence: Annika Sorenstem on the PGA tour. There is a much greater physical barrier in an active sport like golf as opposed to auto racing. But then again, why would we want to focus past achievements already documented when you can extend your column by pretending like you know what you are talking about? When in doubt, hype the topic of your choice and make it be the greatest achievement ever. I know your formula Shanoff - and it smells like your mom's taco (ie: stank).
PS: Just wondering over here, what are the odds that Shanoff has never even seen this girl race before? My guess is that he read the main story on ESPN about this topic, and then ran with it. I have a feeling I am right.
Bandwagonation (I am copywriting this word): "As established in Game 2, this series is all about Dwyane Wade." As my esteemed colleague Adam eloquently highlighted yesterday, Shanoff already has done his about face on our good friend Dwyane. In game 1, the series was all about Detroit's D shutting down Dwyane and the Heat. Of course though, this was obviously overshadowed by Larry Brown leaving for the Cavs, right?
Failure to Admit Idiocy: "Yankees rule!" This comes after burying the Yankees when they were 11-19. Anyone with a remote interest in sports knows that not being great for the first 30 games of a 162 game season does not end a team's chances at doing well. Yet Shanoff berated the team and how bad the team was, all but counting them out. What was it that he stated? Oh yeah: "Yankees suck!" At least he is consistent.
Kiss my grits! More Overhype Based on a Recent Performance!: "Jake Peavy: NL's best pitcher throws 2-hit shutout vs. ARI." In case you all didn't know, throwing a two hit shutout qualifies you for the "best pitcher in whatever respective league you are in" award. There is no denying that Peavy is one of the finest young arms in the game. But if you actually took a half second to open the stats page for pitching in the NL, you will see many more qualified candidates for this title (check it out here: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/pitching?sort=ERA) this year. We all know Peavy is a great pitcher, and in the near future should probably be in consideration for "best NL pitcher". But it wouldn't be a Quickie column unless Shanoff jumped the gun.
Well my friends, I will now bid you farewell as I take the week off. Despite his herpes issues, you are in good hands with Adam. I will see you all when I get back.
In today's Quickie, we are given the gift of:
Ginormous Overhyping and Sensationalism: "Yet even just a strong showing makes her the top "crossover" athlete of the ESPN Era, in any sport." Wow. Just wow. The greatest crossover athlete of any sport just by a decent showing? It really doesn't take a whole lot to win you over. If you are talking about women athletes in men's sports, then you mentioned a much more remarkable feat in the previous sentence: Annika Sorenstem on the PGA tour. There is a much greater physical barrier in an active sport like golf as opposed to auto racing. But then again, why would we want to focus past achievements already documented when you can extend your column by pretending like you know what you are talking about? When in doubt, hype the topic of your choice and make it be the greatest achievement ever. I know your formula Shanoff - and it smells like your mom's taco (ie: stank).
PS: Just wondering over here, what are the odds that Shanoff has never even seen this girl race before? My guess is that he read the main story on ESPN about this topic, and then ran with it. I have a feeling I am right.
Bandwagonation (I am copywriting this word): "As established in Game 2, this series is all about Dwyane Wade." As my esteemed colleague Adam eloquently highlighted yesterday, Shanoff already has done his about face on our good friend Dwyane. In game 1, the series was all about Detroit's D shutting down Dwyane and the Heat. Of course though, this was obviously overshadowed by Larry Brown leaving for the Cavs, right?
Failure to Admit Idiocy: "Yankees rule!" This comes after burying the Yankees when they were 11-19. Anyone with a remote interest in sports knows that not being great for the first 30 games of a 162 game season does not end a team's chances at doing well. Yet Shanoff berated the team and how bad the team was, all but counting them out. What was it that he stated? Oh yeah: "Yankees suck!" At least he is consistent.
Kiss my grits! More Overhype Based on a Recent Performance!: "Jake Peavy: NL's best pitcher throws 2-hit shutout vs. ARI." In case you all didn't know, throwing a two hit shutout qualifies you for the "best pitcher in whatever respective league you are in" award. There is no denying that Peavy is one of the finest young arms in the game. But if you actually took a half second to open the stats page for pitching in the NL, you will see many more qualified candidates for this title (check it out here: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/stats/pitching?sort=ERA) this year. We all know Peavy is a great pitcher, and in the near future should probably be in consideration for "best NL pitcher". But it wouldn't be a Quickie column unless Shanoff jumped the gun.
Well my friends, I will now bid you farewell as I take the week off. Despite his herpes issues, you are in good hands with Adam. I will see you all when I get back.
