Thursday, June 23, 2005
The Daily Suckie - June 23rd, 2005
Dan Shanoff. Milli Vanilli. Vanilla Ice. Lindsay Lohan. The Monkees. Ashlee Simpson.
If you're having trouble following my lead here, I'll help you out.
They're all fakes and/or they all steal other peoples ideas/songs.
Dan - can't you come up with some good, quality, ORIGINAL material?
Theft!
Yes, Scoop Jackson did say that this is Duncan's last chance to prove himself. But guess what, Scoop said it. Not you. Stop pilfering from the good (although thats a term used loosely with Scoop) journalists at ESPN.com and come up with your own stuff. Oh wait. You probably can't because you're journalistic abilities are uglier than Kirstie Alley.
Self-Love
I wonder how often Jackoff masturbates per day? It's gotta be at least 10 times, because he sure likes making love to himself in his columns. I have never witnessed someone hype themselves, their ideas or things they have said in the past with less qualms than Shanny:
Two weeks ago, when I made that pick, the "expert" bandwagon was with the Spurs (collectively wiser ESPN.com users were split nearly 50/50.)
Yes, so you made that pick. But as my colleagues the Double R's have pointed out, you also picked the spurs in 4, 5 and 6 and the Pistons in 6. We here at the TSD are very surprised that you did not pick the Spurs in 7 this morning just to cover all of your bases.
Wha-What?
Simply put: The Spurs were expected to win; turns out they were saddled like a Texas stud.
I think at the outset of the series, the Spurs were maybe favored, but they weren't expected to win! They're playing the Defending World Champions for Christmas Sakes! In fact I think you've gone through pains to point this fact out. And now you suddenly forget it to further your self-loving that all the fans finally came around to 'your' point of view...like you were the only person in the world to pick Pistons in 7. Heck. I want the pistons to win tonight, but just to spite you, I think I'm going to root for the Spurs, just so you can shove your predicition up your hairy, swollen asshole.
Say WHAT?
Wait, so you think that Clemens should start over Willis in the ASG. Yet I believe a few weeks ago you were proclaiming Willis the best pitcher in the MLB AND one of the best ever. How can you jump bandwagons like this? In addition, you call Willis a wanna-be. You make the case against yourself in your own column. Willis is going for his 12th win today. Tops in the NL. In addition, his team hasn't scored a run in 24 innings. And yet he still is about to tie for the most wins in the MLB.
Hyperbole makes me want to pukey
Only the greatest women's golfer ever and her march toward a Grand Slam could distract attention from confident 15-y.o. phenom Michelle Wie.
Hell, I dont even follow womens golf and I can name someone that Sorrenstam hasn't surpassed yet: Babe Didrikson. Stop with the GREATEST EVERs. Instant history isn't real because of people like you. When you are forced to, whether by your editors or your inner-self, proclaim such hyperboles, it only weakens your writing, which is weak enough as it is. Annika is GREAT, but she needs to prove herself, by winning the Grand Slam perhaps, to show that she is the BEST. In addition, let us remember that it is impossible to compare golfers from different ages, as the competition and available resources will always be different.
NB "D" L?
The NBDL is a sham. Players will in no way shape or form learn more in the NBDL as they will in college. College teaches life lessons. Accountability, scheduling, team bonding. What is the NBDL going to teach you? How to survive with players like God Shammgod in small towns in the middle of nowhere? No. College is where life lessons are learned, or maybe you don't know that because you were too busy taking it in the poophole and blowing people for coke in your college days. That is not a life lesson Shanoff. And just to add. NBDL is NOT NBA coaching. How many coaches do you see come from the NBDL to the NBA? None.
Shamless Plugs...makes us wonder?
So Shanoff MUST be getting money or some kind of sexual favor, because these shamless plugs of books by Scoop and Bobbito (what kind of name is this?!?!) Garcia are downright maggot ridden. Who cares about books about Shoes? That's worse than a coffee table book about coffee tables!! As I mentioned yesterday, this is the lamest attempt by ESPN.com to generate readership I have ever seen. I yearn for the days of straight sport-reporting without lunatics like Shanoff running the show and having votes on what the best shoe is!
Well, that's it for today. I'm sure Rocke will be back tomorrow with a very exciting column as we finally (I think it's been around 130 days) learn who wins the NBA playoffs. I wish him the best of luck!
Until next week...Remember to demand more from your sports journalists...and a lot more than the stinking pile of snake urine mixed with Leopard shit that Shanoff offers up everday.
If you're having trouble following my lead here, I'll help you out.
They're all fakes and/or they all steal other peoples ideas/songs.
Dan - can't you come up with some good, quality, ORIGINAL material?
Theft!
Yes, Scoop Jackson did say that this is Duncan's last chance to prove himself. But guess what, Scoop said it. Not you. Stop pilfering from the good (although thats a term used loosely with Scoop) journalists at ESPN.com and come up with your own stuff. Oh wait. You probably can't because you're journalistic abilities are uglier than Kirstie Alley.
Self-Love
I wonder how often Jackoff masturbates per day? It's gotta be at least 10 times, because he sure likes making love to himself in his columns. I have never witnessed someone hype themselves, their ideas or things they have said in the past with less qualms than Shanny:
Two weeks ago, when I made that pick, the "expert" bandwagon was with the Spurs (collectively wiser ESPN.com users were split nearly 50/50.)
Yes, so you made that pick. But as my colleagues the Double R's have pointed out, you also picked the spurs in 4, 5 and 6 and the Pistons in 6. We here at the TSD are very surprised that you did not pick the Spurs in 7 this morning just to cover all of your bases.
Wha-What?
Simply put: The Spurs were expected to win; turns out they were saddled like a Texas stud.
I think at the outset of the series, the Spurs were maybe favored, but they weren't expected to win! They're playing the Defending World Champions for Christmas Sakes! In fact I think you've gone through pains to point this fact out. And now you suddenly forget it to further your self-loving that all the fans finally came around to 'your' point of view...like you were the only person in the world to pick Pistons in 7. Heck. I want the pistons to win tonight, but just to spite you, I think I'm going to root for the Spurs, just so you can shove your predicition up your hairy, swollen asshole.
Say WHAT?
Wait, so you think that Clemens should start over Willis in the ASG. Yet I believe a few weeks ago you were proclaiming Willis the best pitcher in the MLB AND one of the best ever. How can you jump bandwagons like this? In addition, you call Willis a wanna-be. You make the case against yourself in your own column. Willis is going for his 12th win today. Tops in the NL. In addition, his team hasn't scored a run in 24 innings. And yet he still is about to tie for the most wins in the MLB.
Hyperbole makes me want to pukey
Only the greatest women's golfer ever and her march toward a Grand Slam could distract attention from confident 15-y.o. phenom Michelle Wie.
Hell, I dont even follow womens golf and I can name someone that Sorrenstam hasn't surpassed yet: Babe Didrikson. Stop with the GREATEST EVERs. Instant history isn't real because of people like you. When you are forced to, whether by your editors or your inner-self, proclaim such hyperboles, it only weakens your writing, which is weak enough as it is. Annika is GREAT, but she needs to prove herself, by winning the Grand Slam perhaps, to show that she is the BEST. In addition, let us remember that it is impossible to compare golfers from different ages, as the competition and available resources will always be different.
NB "D" L?
The NBDL is a sham. Players will in no way shape or form learn more in the NBDL as they will in college. College teaches life lessons. Accountability, scheduling, team bonding. What is the NBDL going to teach you? How to survive with players like God Shammgod in small towns in the middle of nowhere? No. College is where life lessons are learned, or maybe you don't know that because you were too busy taking it in the poophole and blowing people for coke in your college days. That is not a life lesson Shanoff. And just to add. NBDL is NOT NBA coaching. How many coaches do you see come from the NBDL to the NBA? None.
Shamless Plugs...makes us wonder?
So Shanoff MUST be getting money or some kind of sexual favor, because these shamless plugs of books by Scoop and Bobbito (what kind of name is this?!?!) Garcia are downright maggot ridden. Who cares about books about Shoes? That's worse than a coffee table book about coffee tables!! As I mentioned yesterday, this is the lamest attempt by ESPN.com to generate readership I have ever seen. I yearn for the days of straight sport-reporting without lunatics like Shanoff running the show and having votes on what the best shoe is!
Well, that's it for today. I'm sure Rocke will be back tomorrow with a very exciting column as we finally (I think it's been around 130 days) learn who wins the NBA playoffs. I wish him the best of luck!
Until next week...Remember to demand more from your sports journalists...and a lot more than the stinking pile of snake urine mixed with Leopard shit that Shanoff offers up everday.
