Thursday, June 30, 2005
The Daily Suckie - June 30th, 2005
Sorry about the brief hiatus there. We here at TSD were a tad unorganized this week, so blame that on us. We will be better about this in the future or else... Anyway, on to yet another review of the diarreah inducing Daily Quickie. Today, we are forced to reckon with:
Some More Bad Jokes:
"Waking up and spending a morning with Maria ... Yes, dear, there IS another woman. (Oh, don't look at me like that; you'd say the same thing.) "
It wouldn't be the Quickie without some really dumb jokes. Luckily, Danny Boy starts his column off with this forehand winner. Actually Dan, I would never even think of saying something so lame. Thanks though.
A Possible Ego Trip:
"'Quick the Vote!'... With that small of a gap, Daily Quickie readers can be the difference-maker this year for our 2005 Instant History MLB MVP. Then, finally, when Lee pulls ahead to win the starting spot, we can claim it was our effort that tipped it. Think of your bragging rights!"
If you don't see where this is going, then my friends, you are one of the lucky ones who has never read a Daily Quickie. Do I think Derrek Lee deserves to start at First Base at the ASG? Yes. Will I vote for him? No way in hell. Not after Danny boy here put this into his column. If Lee somehow pulls off the win here, Shanoff will throw himself a parade and talk about this for months (or even years seeing how pathetic his existence is). Let's forget about the fact that the Quickie has at best a few thousand readers. Maybe some of them even like this moron. If Lee pulls out the victory, it won't be because of the readers or Douchebagoff. So my friends, just say no. This guy does not need the satisfaction.
Yet Another Historic Event:
"When the lock top pick of next year's NBA Draft commits to come to play basketball for a school, it's the Best. Class. Ever. 'Fab One?' Greg Oden is the best prep center prospect since Mourning or O'Neal (or even Ewing). He alone makes a great recruiting class"
It is a new day, so thusly, we are treated to yet another "Best ever". This time, one person makes the best recruiting class in college basketball history. Yeah, that makes sense. I am guarenteeing you this asshat has never even seen a highlight of Oden, let alone seen him play, yet he is going to tell us that he constitutes the best recruiting class ever by himself. Maybe he could make a case that Ohio State's recruiting class is the best ever for bringing in three other top 50 recruits, which he mentions in the next sentence. Nope. All it took was Greg Oden to make it the best ever. Huh?! Can you for once not try to make every bit of sports news some historic event you herpes-ridden twat?
Mastabatory Self Promotion:
"Today on ESPN.com: Quickie Live, Draft Fashion Review, Sneaker Bracket"
I find it interesting that the three main things that are happening on ESPN today are TDQ Live (hosted by the cumrag himself), the Draft Fashion Review (guess who wrote this one? Looks like Danny Boy is trying to justify all of those jokes that he like de cack), and Sneaker bracket (the lame ass brainstorm of who else?). Why focus on articles about the NBA Draft or Free Agency, Baseball, or whatever else when we can have such wonderful sports topics of clothes and shoes. In case you didn't know, Danny boy actually has a vagina. Way to jerk yourself off, winner.
That just about does it, friends. Sorry it wasn't that long like most of the NBA Draft picks according to ESPN's Jay Bilas and Chad Ford. We will be back tomorrow with who knows doing this. If we don't get any help, it may just be me again (insert excitement here). Later homeslices.
Some More Bad Jokes:
"Waking up and spending a morning with Maria ... Yes, dear, there IS another woman. (Oh, don't look at me like that; you'd say the same thing.) "
It wouldn't be the Quickie without some really dumb jokes. Luckily, Danny Boy starts his column off with this forehand winner. Actually Dan, I would never even think of saying something so lame. Thanks though.
A Possible Ego Trip:
"'Quick the Vote!'... With that small of a gap, Daily Quickie readers can be the difference-maker this year for our 2005 Instant History MLB MVP. Then, finally, when Lee pulls ahead to win the starting spot, we can claim it was our effort that tipped it. Think of your bragging rights!"
If you don't see where this is going, then my friends, you are one of the lucky ones who has never read a Daily Quickie. Do I think Derrek Lee deserves to start at First Base at the ASG? Yes. Will I vote for him? No way in hell. Not after Danny boy here put this into his column. If Lee somehow pulls off the win here, Shanoff will throw himself a parade and talk about this for months (or even years seeing how pathetic his existence is). Let's forget about the fact that the Quickie has at best a few thousand readers. Maybe some of them even like this moron. If Lee pulls out the victory, it won't be because of the readers or Douchebagoff. So my friends, just say no. This guy does not need the satisfaction.
Yet Another Historic Event:
"When the lock top pick of next year's NBA Draft commits to come to play basketball for a school, it's the Best. Class. Ever. 'Fab One?' Greg Oden is the best prep center prospect since Mourning or O'Neal (or even Ewing). He alone makes a great recruiting class"
It is a new day, so thusly, we are treated to yet another "Best ever". This time, one person makes the best recruiting class in college basketball history. Yeah, that makes sense. I am guarenteeing you this asshat has never even seen a highlight of Oden, let alone seen him play, yet he is going to tell us that he constitutes the best recruiting class ever by himself. Maybe he could make a case that Ohio State's recruiting class is the best ever for bringing in three other top 50 recruits, which he mentions in the next sentence. Nope. All it took was Greg Oden to make it the best ever. Huh?! Can you for once not try to make every bit of sports news some historic event you herpes-ridden twat?
Mastabatory Self Promotion:
"Today on ESPN.com: Quickie Live, Draft Fashion Review, Sneaker Bracket"
I find it interesting that the three main things that are happening on ESPN today are TDQ Live (hosted by the cumrag himself), the Draft Fashion Review (guess who wrote this one? Looks like Danny Boy is trying to justify all of those jokes that he like de cack), and Sneaker bracket (the lame ass brainstorm of who else?). Why focus on articles about the NBA Draft or Free Agency, Baseball, or whatever else when we can have such wonderful sports topics of clothes and shoes. In case you didn't know, Danny boy actually has a vagina. Way to jerk yourself off, winner.
That just about does it, friends. Sorry it wasn't that long like most of the NBA Draft picks according to ESPN's Jay Bilas and Chad Ford. We will be back tomorrow with who knows doing this. If we don't get any help, it may just be me again (insert excitement here). Later homeslices.
