Thursday, June 09, 2005
The Daily Suckie - June 9th, 2005
Sorry about not providing you with a high quality Suckie yesterday, but work unfortunately called. I will try to make it up to you with a respectable column today...
After being allowed to escape unscathed for much of the past two weeks, Shanoff will not enjoy this kind of treatment from here on out: TSD is back in business on a regular schedule. Watch out! The Daily Suckie has painstakingly reviewed yet another failed attempt at sports journalism (click on the Daily Quickie link on the left), and here is what we find:
Misleading the Public
"Expectations are so low for the NBA Finals tonight, Las Vegas is only offering an 'under-under.'"
Who the hell is he talking about? All I have been hearing from multiple sources is how the series is going to be great for basketball purists. He goes on to say in his next sentence that 80% of ESPN.com users predict a good or great series. Huh??! I would say that the poll was a great way to gauge what the sports-viewing public is thinking about the Finals. And with the fact that a lot of people think it is going to be a good one, where do you get off saying expectations are "so low" as you put it? Oh that is right, you are trying to create a non-story in hopes of proving you know what you are talking about when the season wraps up. Seriously, do you even have an inkling as to what is going on in the sports world?
A Lack of Knowing What the Fuqua He is Talking About:
"Speaking of expectations..."
Ok, so let me get this straight. Three ESPN.com guys pick the Spurs to win in 5, 6, and 7 games, and this somehow means that there is a trend parallel to the Lakers-Pistons series last year?! Why bother doing proper analysis on a series based on the way the teams play when you can just draw a conclusion based on the results of last year's Finals. It makes perfect sense. The media picked a flawed Lakers team to win because they were in the West and the Pistons were in the East. This year, three members of ESPN's staff choose the Spurs for the fact that they can play any style of basketball, have the deepest team in the league, Finals experience, and the two best players in the series, yet all Shanoff needs to do is look at last year's result (let me remind you he was on that Lakers bandwagon at that time) and determine who will win based on that. Brilliant. Someone should hire this guy to do Summer's Eve commercials.
PS: Your kiss up to ESPN users is lame.
Yet Another Outlandish Claim:
"Dontrelle Willis: First MLB pitcher to reach 10 wins. And, for my money, a much more appropriate "face of baseball" than Jeter."
Um, why is Dontrelle the "face of baseball"? Because he was the first pitcher to earn 10 wins this season? Wow, I didn't know that is all it took. He makes it so simple folks! And this is coming from the guy that joined the "Let's throw Dontrelle under the bus Club" last year when he tanked. 1 1/2 good seasons is all it takes to be "The face of baseball". Remember that folks. It makes sense if you think about it. Andy Van Slyke, Brady Anderson, and Bret Boone also have qualified as Faces of Baseball. Love the logic here Shanoff.
As much as I despise the Yanks and Jeter, there really aren't more than 3-5 players who deserve to represent the game of baseball. Jeter is one of them.
Overuse of a Joke to the Point of Absurdity:
"It also means that we're one step closer to not caring about hockey when the players are actually on the ice, not just not caring when the teams are locked out."
I hate hockey more than just about anything, but I hate Shanoff about 1000 times more. This joke was played out ohhh, back in September of last year, yet he must use it everytime there is a NHL related story. Seriously, shut the f**k up! Give it a rest.
Uneeded Ripping on Sea Bass:
"Cam Neely elected to Hockey Hall of Fame. Wait: I forgot no one cares.What a depressing moment to be a Hockey HOF'er."
Ok, let me get this straight. No one cares at all about Cam "Sea Bass" Neely making the Hockey Hall of Fame, yet you said a few weeks ago in your lame "Who's Got Mo..." section that the WNBA was worth paying attention to. That is rich. I can guarentee you 100 times more people care about Cam Neely as opposed to the WNBA.
PS: Show a little class and tact in your writing. What the hell was the need for this cheap shot?
So what have we learned if nothing else children? That Dan Shanoff should be working as a fluffer in the porn industry. And with that folks, I am off. Our friend Adam will be here for the Big Friday Finish, so tune in tomorrow morning same bat time, same bat channel.
After being allowed to escape unscathed for much of the past two weeks, Shanoff will not enjoy this kind of treatment from here on out: TSD is back in business on a regular schedule. Watch out! The Daily Suckie has painstakingly reviewed yet another failed attempt at sports journalism (click on the Daily Quickie link on the left), and here is what we find:
Misleading the Public
"Expectations are so low for the NBA Finals tonight, Las Vegas is only offering an 'under-under.'"
Who the hell is he talking about? All I have been hearing from multiple sources is how the series is going to be great for basketball purists. He goes on to say in his next sentence that 80% of ESPN.com users predict a good or great series. Huh??! I would say that the poll was a great way to gauge what the sports-viewing public is thinking about the Finals. And with the fact that a lot of people think it is going to be a good one, where do you get off saying expectations are "so low" as you put it? Oh that is right, you are trying to create a non-story in hopes of proving you know what you are talking about when the season wraps up. Seriously, do you even have an inkling as to what is going on in the sports world?
A Lack of Knowing What the Fuqua He is Talking About:
"Speaking of expectations..."
Ok, so let me get this straight. Three ESPN.com guys pick the Spurs to win in 5, 6, and 7 games, and this somehow means that there is a trend parallel to the Lakers-Pistons series last year?! Why bother doing proper analysis on a series based on the way the teams play when you can just draw a conclusion based on the results of last year's Finals. It makes perfect sense. The media picked a flawed Lakers team to win because they were in the West and the Pistons were in the East. This year, three members of ESPN's staff choose the Spurs for the fact that they can play any style of basketball, have the deepest team in the league, Finals experience, and the two best players in the series, yet all Shanoff needs to do is look at last year's result (let me remind you he was on that Lakers bandwagon at that time) and determine who will win based on that. Brilliant. Someone should hire this guy to do Summer's Eve commercials.
PS: Your kiss up to ESPN users is lame.
Yet Another Outlandish Claim:
"Dontrelle Willis: First MLB pitcher to reach 10 wins. And, for my money, a much more appropriate "face of baseball" than Jeter."
Um, why is Dontrelle the "face of baseball"? Because he was the first pitcher to earn 10 wins this season? Wow, I didn't know that is all it took. He makes it so simple folks! And this is coming from the guy that joined the "Let's throw Dontrelle under the bus Club" last year when he tanked. 1 1/2 good seasons is all it takes to be "The face of baseball". Remember that folks. It makes sense if you think about it. Andy Van Slyke, Brady Anderson, and Bret Boone also have qualified as Faces of Baseball. Love the logic here Shanoff.
As much as I despise the Yanks and Jeter, there really aren't more than 3-5 players who deserve to represent the game of baseball. Jeter is one of them.
Overuse of a Joke to the Point of Absurdity:
"It also means that we're one step closer to not caring about hockey when the players are actually on the ice, not just not caring when the teams are locked out."
I hate hockey more than just about anything, but I hate Shanoff about 1000 times more. This joke was played out ohhh, back in September of last year, yet he must use it everytime there is a NHL related story. Seriously, shut the f**k up! Give it a rest.
Uneeded Ripping on Sea Bass:
"Cam Neely elected to Hockey Hall of Fame. Wait: I forgot no one cares.What a depressing moment to be a Hockey HOF'er."
Ok, let me get this straight. No one cares at all about Cam "Sea Bass" Neely making the Hockey Hall of Fame, yet you said a few weeks ago in your lame "Who's Got Mo..." section that the WNBA was worth paying attention to. That is rich. I can guarentee you 100 times more people care about Cam Neely as opposed to the WNBA.
PS: Show a little class and tact in your writing. What the hell was the need for this cheap shot?
So what have we learned if nothing else children? That Dan Shanoff should be working as a fluffer in the porn industry. And with that folks, I am off. Our friend Adam will be here for the Big Friday Finish, so tune in tomorrow morning same bat time, same bat channel.
