Wednesday, July 06, 2005
The Daily Suckie - July 6th, 2005
Well, after a nice long, drunken weekend, I'm back with today's edition of the Daily Suckie. Our public enemy #1 Dan Shanoff has written a bastard child of a column today (link on your left as usual) that is full of maggot ridden feces and in its lack of beauty is even worse than the cumulative puke of my lifetime.
Now then, on to the show; Today we have:
Boo Hoo, F YOU!
First off, why is Shanoff taking a low blow on NYC when they just lost a bid for the Olympics? It is not as if they did anything wrong. Yet Shanoff writes: Finishing ahead of Moscow is nothing to brag about; getting beat out by Madrid is embarrassing.
It is? Says who? You who doesn't know a thing about the Olympic Selection committee? You who has his head up his own ass? Madrid, by all accounts, put together an excellent proposal but was most likely shot down b/c the summer olympics were recently in Barcelona.
The good news is that you've got four years to figure out a plan; the better news is that you're competing with New York.
You gotta stop hating my friend. I'll be the first to admit that NYC gets way too much hype and there are even better cities on the East coast, but the city does have it going on when it comes to sports, entertainment and hot hot women (Rocke will dispute this point and point to Phoenix). Competing with NYC is not an easy thing to do.
Boasting, should be Roasting,
Quickie readers made an impact in the Lee vs. Pujols last-minute voting surge, and you're encouraged to do it again in the All-Star "Final Man" vote, which ends tonight at 8.
Lets get this straight Jackoff - I think it was most likely the legions of Cubs fans who helped get Lee voted in over Pujols - not your lame excuse for grandstanding. So to think that you will have anything to do with it if Podsednik gets voted in over Jeter is just horse shit.
He then has the gall to write:
Schadenfreud: Wouldn't it be hilarious if the "Face of Baseball" couldn't even win a lousy run-off among All-Star also-rans?
Wait...this is a lousy run-0ff? Then why are you making such a big deal out of it? Didn't you just say a couple of days ago how important it is for fans to vote for these things? Wasn't the Final Man the theme of your entire column yesterday?!?! Dude you're such an idiot that I think my head is about to explode.
And why must you continue to use the word Schadenfreud? And by the way, it is supposed to be spelled Schadenfreude. You call yourself a journalist.
Idiocy by the douchekeg-ful
Forget Willis or Clemens; Nats closer Chad Cordero (30 saves) is the first-half NL Cy Young winner. What?!?! Ok, yes it is possible for a closer to win the Cy Young. But in the last few weeks you have consistently sucked the cocks of both Willis and Clemens, and now you jump on the newst bandwagon and take it in the ass from Cordero? Man you are such a hooker with a penis.
Manny-Greatest Slammer Ever? Hit his 20th last night (3rd of the season) and is only 3 behind Gehrig for tops all time. Ah, what a surprise. Instant history expert Shanoff dubs someone the greatest slammer of all time. But what you must take into consideration is that Manny probably has hundreds of more attempts with the bases loaded than most MLB players, due to the copious amount of talent in front of him. Dubbing him the best slammer ever is like saying that Scottie Pippen is the best basketball player ever. Come to think of it, if Pippen had scored 45/12 on one night, I bet Shanoff would have given him that title.
Would A-Rod actually play for the D.R. over the U.S.? The WBC edge goes to whichever team lands him.
So we can bash A-Rod, and then say that he will be a difference maker if the WBC happens? I think that the WBC will actually come down to how good an entire team is, not one player.
You will make me so angry I will rip your head off
Remember hockey? (No? You don't? Wait: You say you do, but don't care? Gotcha. If so, then reading the following is optional.)
Ok. That is it. I've had it with your lame ass stale jokes about how hockey is irrelevant. This is not the mark of good journalism. This is the mark of someone who makes a judgement about a sport and refuses to change their pea-sized mind about it. Hockey is an excellent sport that just went through a brutal CBA negotiation that will cause the sport to lose many fans. It hurt and it sucked. But what the sport does not have time for is lame assholes like yourself who continue to trash it as it is making extreme progress. I want to see you go out there day in and day out and lace up your skates and got knocked around by guys who weigh 250 lbs. Scared now? Yeah, I thought so. You are a worthless piece of pig intenstine and I hope that your anus is eaten by a 15 foot long python.
Shamless plug of ESPN product
Will the Knicks trade Marbury? Should they? Chad Ford's annual summer blueprints are yet another reason you should be an Insider.
As if Insider isn't pimped enough on ESPN.com. Now this piece of cockroach dung is advertising it on his column. As if you're column wasn't fake enough...
Well, that's it for now...Obviously Danny Boy crapped out his column and mailed it into ESPN today.
Until next time, demand more from your sportswriters!
Now then, on to the show; Today we have:
Boo Hoo, F YOU!
First off, why is Shanoff taking a low blow on NYC when they just lost a bid for the Olympics? It is not as if they did anything wrong. Yet Shanoff writes: Finishing ahead of Moscow is nothing to brag about; getting beat out by Madrid is embarrassing.
It is? Says who? You who doesn't know a thing about the Olympic Selection committee? You who has his head up his own ass? Madrid, by all accounts, put together an excellent proposal but was most likely shot down b/c the summer olympics were recently in Barcelona.
The good news is that you've got four years to figure out a plan; the better news is that you're competing with New York.
You gotta stop hating my friend. I'll be the first to admit that NYC gets way too much hype and there are even better cities on the East coast, but the city does have it going on when it comes to sports, entertainment and hot hot women (Rocke will dispute this point and point to Phoenix). Competing with NYC is not an easy thing to do.
Boasting, should be Roasting,
Quickie readers made an impact in the Lee vs. Pujols last-minute voting surge, and you're encouraged to do it again in the All-Star "Final Man" vote, which ends tonight at 8.
Lets get this straight Jackoff - I think it was most likely the legions of Cubs fans who helped get Lee voted in over Pujols - not your lame excuse for grandstanding. So to think that you will have anything to do with it if Podsednik gets voted in over Jeter is just horse shit.
He then has the gall to write:
Schadenfreud: Wouldn't it be hilarious if the "Face of Baseball" couldn't even win a lousy run-off among All-Star also-rans?
Wait...this is a lousy run-0ff? Then why are you making such a big deal out of it? Didn't you just say a couple of days ago how important it is for fans to vote for these things? Wasn't the Final Man the theme of your entire column yesterday?!?! Dude you're such an idiot that I think my head is about to explode.
And why must you continue to use the word Schadenfreud? And by the way, it is supposed to be spelled Schadenfreude. You call yourself a journalist.
Idiocy by the douchekeg-ful
Forget Willis or Clemens; Nats closer Chad Cordero (30 saves) is the first-half NL Cy Young winner. What?!?! Ok, yes it is possible for a closer to win the Cy Young. But in the last few weeks you have consistently sucked the cocks of both Willis and Clemens, and now you jump on the newst bandwagon and take it in the ass from Cordero? Man you are such a hooker with a penis.
Manny-Greatest Slammer Ever? Hit his 20th last night (3rd of the season) and is only 3 behind Gehrig for tops all time. Ah, what a surprise. Instant history expert Shanoff dubs someone the greatest slammer of all time. But what you must take into consideration is that Manny probably has hundreds of more attempts with the bases loaded than most MLB players, due to the copious amount of talent in front of him. Dubbing him the best slammer ever is like saying that Scottie Pippen is the best basketball player ever. Come to think of it, if Pippen had scored 45/12 on one night, I bet Shanoff would have given him that title.
Would A-Rod actually play for the D.R. over the U.S.? The WBC edge goes to whichever team lands him.
So we can bash A-Rod, and then say that he will be a difference maker if the WBC happens? I think that the WBC will actually come down to how good an entire team is, not one player.
You will make me so angry I will rip your head off
Remember hockey? (No? You don't? Wait: You say you do, but don't care? Gotcha. If so, then reading the following is optional.)
Ok. That is it. I've had it with your lame ass stale jokes about how hockey is irrelevant. This is not the mark of good journalism. This is the mark of someone who makes a judgement about a sport and refuses to change their pea-sized mind about it. Hockey is an excellent sport that just went through a brutal CBA negotiation that will cause the sport to lose many fans. It hurt and it sucked. But what the sport does not have time for is lame assholes like yourself who continue to trash it as it is making extreme progress. I want to see you go out there day in and day out and lace up your skates and got knocked around by guys who weigh 250 lbs. Scared now? Yeah, I thought so. You are a worthless piece of pig intenstine and I hope that your anus is eaten by a 15 foot long python.
Shamless plug of ESPN product
Will the Knicks trade Marbury? Should they? Chad Ford's annual summer blueprints are yet another reason you should be an Insider.
As if Insider isn't pimped enough on ESPN.com. Now this piece of cockroach dung is advertising it on his column. As if you're column wasn't fake enough...
Well, that's it for now...Obviously Danny Boy crapped out his column and mailed it into ESPN today.
Until next time, demand more from your sportswriters!
