Thursday, July 07, 2005
The Daily Suckie - July 7th, 2005
Welcome to today's edition of the Suckie, sponsored by us here at TSD. As always, we will be tearing Shanoff's world famously awful column apart. And like always, Danny Boy does not disappoint, writing yet another truly wrecthed waste of space. In today's Quickie, we have to put up with:
Stale Jokes/Stupid Ideas/More Bitching/Etc.
Obviously, this is in regards to his posting on hockey. Like I said a few weeks ago, I hate the NHL, but I can still say without a doubt that Shanoff's bagging on the league is unbearable. As much as I would like to rip on him for all of this right now, I know my collegue Adam (an NHL fan) has a lot to say on this, so I will allow him to address this one himself. Look for that to be posted a little later. Oh, and F you Shanoff.
Yet Another Misfire on Facts:
"McMillan Bolts: Yes, it was the money. Someone doesn't leave a city he's played and coached in his entire NBA career (Seattle) for the regional rival for any other reason."
Um, there are other reasons he left you twat, but I wouldn't expect you to know anything about them. In case you haven't been following this situation (and it is obvious Shanoff hasn't - go figure), Nate McMillan has been the coach of the Sonics since 2000. For the past two years, there has been rumors floating around that he would be fired by the team. He even was considered one of the coaches most likely to be fired at the beginning of last season. And let's not forget the team let his contract expire and instead of re-upping it, which they could have done all year when he was leading them to one of the best records in the league, they decided to take a wait and see approach. He has been put off, mistreated, and taken for granted for years in Seattle. He has been nothing but loyal to the Sonic organization the last almost 20 years. To say that he wasn't shown the same loyalty would be quite the understatement. How can the fact he HAD to have felt disrespected for years not even be touched upon? How can that be completely ignored when taking into consideration the reasons for his leaving the Sonics? Oh that's right... because Danny Boy is a complete and total hack. Yes, the fact that he would make double the money in Portland plays a role in this. To say it is the only motivation is just stupid. But would we expect anything less from the cumrag?
More Absurd Claims:
"In your Face! The biggest story of "Final Man" voting wasn't that Pods earned a spot; it was that Jeter -- the "Face of Baseball" -- lost. In a simple up-or-down vote, fans rejected Jeter and everything he stands for. His minions can't possibly claim 'Face' status anymore."
As a Jeter hater, let me say this: I have no clue why Danny Boy is revelling in this so God damn much. For this being such a non-story according to yesterday's Quickie, he sure has focused a ton of time to this stupid story. He is coming across as a complete and total fucknut (quite an easy task for him, I know) with his handling of this. So Jeter has lost the "Face of Baseball" tag (I don't even know where this came from, but Danny Boy has been devestated by this title as he has mentioned it for months in his craptastic columns) because some fans felt someone else deserved to be playing in the All Star Game over him. I didn't realize that this was the only necessity in order to be a representative of the game. And I guess that what a player stands for is the most important element when considering who is an all star and who is not. It shouldn't be based on how they play the game, as that is of no importance. It is all about their public persona. Thank God we have Shanoff here to help us realize this. In essence, what Danny Boy is trying to say here is this: "In your face Jeter"! You might as well retire now because you have no worth anymore! You suck! LOLZ ROFLZORZZ!1!!!!" The handling of this shows yet another reason why Danny Boy is rhino spooge.
More Stupidity:
"NL: Astros SP Roy Oswalt in. Sealed by two things: Oz's W the day the ballot came out, plus fan sympathy for his jobbed teammate Morgan Ensberg."
I didn't realize that the common fan felt such an emotional attachment to Morgan Ensberg that they were moved to vote for Roy Oswalt as an All Star. I would have thought that Oswalt's performance all year would have had something to do with his being voted onto the team, but luckily, Danny boy has dug deep for and found the truth. One good outing right before the vote and a slighted teammate is all that is needed to be a fan favorite for All Star. Remember that next year when voting, people.
Hypocrisy and Sensationalizing:
"Usually, PGA golf doesn't get interesting until Sunday, and even then only if Tiger is in the mix. But Michelle Wie changes everything. Hello: On the men's tour? She's even more must-see than Tiger. Factoring in age, experience and gender, she's the most talented golfer in the world."
Holy God, I cannot describe to you how much I loathe this asshole. I really cannot. Whenever there is a major golfing event, he rambles on about one of the "Big 4" in golf, and comments on how they make the game interesting. Usually he will jump on one of their bandwagons. Now, I guess no one pays attention to golf until Sunday unless Tiger is involved. Quite a difference from his "The Big 4 is great for golf and get people to watch" argument he has made numerous times this year. Also, does anyone else find it odd that he feels the need to talk about the LPGA more than most sports. Something makes me think he is actually a butch woman.
And seriously, what the FUCK is up with his claim that Wie is the most talented golfer in the world?! Because she is good and young, she is the most talented golfer in the world?! Is that all it takes? It doesn't matter that she has never won any semi-major event. It doesn't matter that there are about 100+ golfers that would whallop her in any event. Why you ask? Because she is a young woman and has played in a couple of men's tournaments. That is all it takes to be the most talented in the world I guess. Forget that she isn't even the most talented woman in her sport. That would ruin his jumping on the hype bandwagon, and what would Danny Boy be able to contribute to the world if that happened? The same thing he contributes now: nothing.
More Ego-Stroking:
"Perhaps taking their cue from Tuesday's Quickie, the Red Sox are sending Curt Schilling to the bullpen to continue rehab. He's gotta be better than Foulke, with his throat "knee" problems."
Pat yourelf on the back more, you dildo. To even suggest that you had something to do with a personnel decision in any capacity is absurd. The day someone important gives anything you say a serious thought is the day the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride into town and wipe out the human population. And nice Danny Boy, using the Foulke "throat" injury joke two days in a row. How original.
And with that my friends, I am out of here. Big Game Rob will offer up his second Quickie ever tomorrow, so be sure to check in.
And in more important news, TSD sends out our condolences to the people of London. We hate terrorists more than Shanoff and Bayless here. Combined! Stay safe friends.
Stale Jokes/Stupid Ideas/More Bitching/Etc.
Obviously, this is in regards to his posting on hockey. Like I said a few weeks ago, I hate the NHL, but I can still say without a doubt that Shanoff's bagging on the league is unbearable. As much as I would like to rip on him for all of this right now, I know my collegue Adam (an NHL fan) has a lot to say on this, so I will allow him to address this one himself. Look for that to be posted a little later. Oh, and F you Shanoff.
Yet Another Misfire on Facts:
"McMillan Bolts: Yes, it was the money. Someone doesn't leave a city he's played and coached in his entire NBA career (Seattle) for the regional rival for any other reason."
Um, there are other reasons he left you twat, but I wouldn't expect you to know anything about them. In case you haven't been following this situation (and it is obvious Shanoff hasn't - go figure), Nate McMillan has been the coach of the Sonics since 2000. For the past two years, there has been rumors floating around that he would be fired by the team. He even was considered one of the coaches most likely to be fired at the beginning of last season. And let's not forget the team let his contract expire and instead of re-upping it, which they could have done all year when he was leading them to one of the best records in the league, they decided to take a wait and see approach. He has been put off, mistreated, and taken for granted for years in Seattle. He has been nothing but loyal to the Sonic organization the last almost 20 years. To say that he wasn't shown the same loyalty would be quite the understatement. How can the fact he HAD to have felt disrespected for years not even be touched upon? How can that be completely ignored when taking into consideration the reasons for his leaving the Sonics? Oh that's right... because Danny Boy is a complete and total hack. Yes, the fact that he would make double the money in Portland plays a role in this. To say it is the only motivation is just stupid. But would we expect anything less from the cumrag?
More Absurd Claims:
"In your Face! The biggest story of "Final Man" voting wasn't that Pods earned a spot; it was that Jeter -- the "Face of Baseball" -- lost. In a simple up-or-down vote, fans rejected Jeter and everything he stands for. His minions can't possibly claim 'Face' status anymore."
As a Jeter hater, let me say this: I have no clue why Danny Boy is revelling in this so God damn much. For this being such a non-story according to yesterday's Quickie, he sure has focused a ton of time to this stupid story. He is coming across as a complete and total fucknut (quite an easy task for him, I know) with his handling of this. So Jeter has lost the "Face of Baseball" tag (I don't even know where this came from, but Danny Boy has been devestated by this title as he has mentioned it for months in his craptastic columns) because some fans felt someone else deserved to be playing in the All Star Game over him. I didn't realize that this was the only necessity in order to be a representative of the game. And I guess that what a player stands for is the most important element when considering who is an all star and who is not. It shouldn't be based on how they play the game, as that is of no importance. It is all about their public persona. Thank God we have Shanoff here to help us realize this. In essence, what Danny Boy is trying to say here is this: "In your face Jeter"! You might as well retire now because you have no worth anymore! You suck! LOLZ ROFLZORZZ!1!!!!" The handling of this shows yet another reason why Danny Boy is rhino spooge.
More Stupidity:
"NL: Astros SP Roy Oswalt in. Sealed by two things: Oz's W the day the ballot came out, plus fan sympathy for his jobbed teammate Morgan Ensberg."
I didn't realize that the common fan felt such an emotional attachment to Morgan Ensberg that they were moved to vote for Roy Oswalt as an All Star. I would have thought that Oswalt's performance all year would have had something to do with his being voted onto the team, but luckily, Danny boy has dug deep for and found the truth. One good outing right before the vote and a slighted teammate is all that is needed to be a fan favorite for All Star. Remember that next year when voting, people.
Hypocrisy and Sensationalizing:
"Usually, PGA golf doesn't get interesting until Sunday, and even then only if Tiger is in the mix. But Michelle Wie changes everything. Hello: On the men's tour? She's even more must-see than Tiger. Factoring in age, experience and gender, she's the most talented golfer in the world."
Holy God, I cannot describe to you how much I loathe this asshole. I really cannot. Whenever there is a major golfing event, he rambles on about one of the "Big 4" in golf, and comments on how they make the game interesting. Usually he will jump on one of their bandwagons. Now, I guess no one pays attention to golf until Sunday unless Tiger is involved. Quite a difference from his "The Big 4 is great for golf and get people to watch" argument he has made numerous times this year. Also, does anyone else find it odd that he feels the need to talk about the LPGA more than most sports. Something makes me think he is actually a butch woman.
And seriously, what the FUCK is up with his claim that Wie is the most talented golfer in the world?! Because she is good and young, she is the most talented golfer in the world?! Is that all it takes? It doesn't matter that she has never won any semi-major event. It doesn't matter that there are about 100+ golfers that would whallop her in any event. Why you ask? Because she is a young woman and has played in a couple of men's tournaments. That is all it takes to be the most talented in the world I guess. Forget that she isn't even the most talented woman in her sport. That would ruin his jumping on the hype bandwagon, and what would Danny Boy be able to contribute to the world if that happened? The same thing he contributes now: nothing.
More Ego-Stroking:
"Perhaps taking their cue from Tuesday's Quickie, the Red Sox are sending Curt Schilling to the bullpen to continue rehab. He's gotta be better than Foulke, with his throat "knee" problems."
Pat yourelf on the back more, you dildo. To even suggest that you had something to do with a personnel decision in any capacity is absurd. The day someone important gives anything you say a serious thought is the day the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride into town and wipe out the human population. And nice Danny Boy, using the Foulke "throat" injury joke two days in a row. How original.
And with that my friends, I am out of here. Big Game Rob will offer up his second Quickie ever tomorrow, so be sure to check in.
And in more important news, TSD sends out our condolences to the people of London. We hate terrorists more than Shanoff and Bayless here. Combined! Stay safe friends.
